stupid employee conversations, volume 1
i am stupid and so are my co-workers. here is an unedited conversation from our internal im system. names have been changed to protect the innocent.
bennigan, ted w. [1:57 pm]:
good job representing the company
mcclosky, jack [1:57 pm]:
fuck
bennigan, ted w. [1:57 pm]:
that would have been great if you were like, “sorry, we’ve got deadlines.”
mcclosky, jack [1:57 pm]:
or “get the fuck away from me”
bennigan, ted w. [1:58 pm]:
nice
mcclosky, jack [1:58 pm]:
come on what else
mcclosky, jack [1:58 pm]:
“go fuck yourself”
mcclosky, jack [1:58 pm]:
“eat shit and die”
mcclosky, jack [1:59 pm]:
“i hope your mother chokes on her false teeth”
bennigan, ted w. [1:59 pm]:
“hey, have you ever had one of those annoying gnats in your ear and it just won’t go away? yeah, that’s about right.”
mcclosky, jack [2:00 pm]:
“don’t touch my shit unless you want me beating you down”
mcclosky, jack [2:00 pm]:
yeah bro yeah
mcclosky, jack [2:00 pm]:
so bro what the hell are we doing the rest of the day?
bennigan, ted w. [2:00 pm]:
“sorry, this is confidential.”
bennigan, ted w. [2:00 pm]:
drinking.
mcclosky, jack [2:01 pm]:
yeah let’s go get that beer out of the fridge
mcclosky, jack [2:01 pm]:
i swear to god it would be funny if you drank it all and then got messed up
mcclosky, jack [2:01 pm]:
and ralphed on dan’s keyboard
mcclosky, jack [2:02 pm]:
fine don’t respond then
mcclosky, jack [2:02 pm]:
shit are you actually doing work?
bennigan, ted w. [2:02 pm]:
lol
bennigan, ted w. [2:02 pm]:
haha yeah actually
bennigan, ted w. [2:03 pm]:
i’m always friggin’ working apparently…i was looking at those damn financials until i went to sleep last night
mcclosky, jack [2:03 pm]:
dude that sucks
mcclosky, jack [2:03 pm]:
don’t give in to the man
bennigan, ted w. [2:03 pm]:
i woke up this morning and was trying to type numbers into my alarm clock
mcclosky, jack [2:03 pm]:
fight it
mcclosky, jack [2:23 pm]:
bro are you drunk?
bennigan, ted w. [2:27 pm]:
nah…but i think there might be blood in my alcohol stream
mcclosky, jack [2:40 pm]:
oh heck yes
mcclosky, jack [3:36 pm]:
just answer one thing
mcclosky, jack [3:37 pm]:
when you are hammered do you like to fight people?
bennigan, ted w. [3:37 pm]:
lol no
bennigan, ted w. [3:37 pm]:
but i do tend to hit on girls more
bennigan, ted w. [3:37 pm]:
lol
mcclosky, jack [3:37 pm]:
nice bro
jack @ 3:41 pm on 8/24/07