when you grow up your heart dies?
so the other night, my brain addled with fever, i was sitting around late at night watching the old reliable: cable television. i came across an old episode of voltron. now this cartoon used to be a favorite of mine back in the days of my youth. the lions, the castle, the batman-like way of accessing the lions, the secret keys that only a few can hold, and on and on. there was no shortage of reasons to adore such a show as any 7 year old kid back then would atest. in fact i had most of the toys that came of this show due to a pair of overly enthusiastic grandparents. the whole prospect of watching this isolated episode filled me with a sense of nostalgia so i decided to sit and watch the cartoon. i settled in and started watching with a smile on my face.
that smile slowly faded as i started to realize that the cartoon, story, dialouge, animation, etc, all sucked so bad i couldn’t bear to watch it any more. so with my face contorted into a mask of horror i immeadiately switched away. then the questions started. what was that? who wrote this? who lent their voices to this and thought that was a good line read? who is in charge of making sure the cartoon didn’t blow? did i really like this cartoon as a child? was i really that stupid as a kid? all the questions my LA, movie world, beaten into submission, brain could think of really. well apparently the answer to most of those questions that don’t require more specific answers is yes. yes i did like that show. as a kid imagination trumps everything is what i proposed to myself outloud. quality control is not a factor for a 7 year old kid who finds the idea of having a flying, metal lion fill his head. i must have never cared or paid any attention to the absurdity the cartoon must have presented to any person older than 25 years old. i just accepted the whole thing. i had fun with it. i made it work for me and i enjoyed every minute of it. which brings me to now. what has happened to me? and i bet anybody who reads this and attempts a similar experience with any of their cherished childhood memories will find themselves at the same question. have i grown up to the point where i can no longer enjoy the things i used to. now this isn’t the same as trying to enjoy an ice cream cone the same way you did as a kid, because last time i tried that it still worked. this seems to be about more, more rooted in the process of growing up. was ally sheedy’s character in breakfast club right? when we grow up does our heart die? well i think it’s sad but true. i actually sat there with one of my most favorite cartoons of yesteryear and tore it apart like i was some self righteous movie critic. it surprised me to a point. what causes that? is going through all the good and bad things in life the sumation of killing off the kid in you? the whole thing scared me. it started my mind painting a picture a few more years down the road for me. it was joyless and overly critical in tone and i wanted so much to change that before it was too late. unfortunately that’s the way things are. do we unknowingly kill off the little guy or gal we used to be? can we enjoy things like we used to now with our adult and “sophisticated” brains? i sure hope so, at least for voltron’s sake.