the most important scientific breakthrough…this week!
forget finding a cure for aids! forget cancer! forget solving hunger and global warming issues! a study today revealed that a t-rex could outrun david beckham. whoa! yes, folks. that’s right. a thirty-foot dinosaur could outrun a 6 foot man. no way!
(this chart, courtesy of enchantedlearning.com, took an eight-year-old no money and and nearly thirty minutes to come up with.)
yup, it’s true.
scientists using computer models calculated the top speeds for five meat-eating dinosaurs in a study they say can also illustrate how animals cope with climate change and extinction.
wowzers! computers!
honestly, this just blows my mind. it’s like construction. it’s cheaper to keep construction workers constantly working on something, moving from one site to the next continuously rather than shut down after a project and retool. it must be the same for scientists. finish a study on dark matter and then move directly into seeing if not only a dinosaur could run, but run predominately faster than a man.
first of all, who cares. they’re dead. those involved claim that the study will help give a better overall picture of how the animals coped with the sudden climate change, but let’s be clear: they obviously couldn’t run fast enough to outrun extinction. and at the end of the day, if the earth gets too hot due to our insufferable tendencies to just not care about what we put into the atmosphere, we won’t be able to outrun our demise either, no matter how beneficial some feel this preposterous study is.
and second of all, david beckham already has a big head. last thing he needs is someone basically telling him he could almost kick a t-rex’s ass.
this study is like spending a year and finally deciding, with scientific proof, that a bird flies. see those “wings” they flap around with? they use those to fly. a computer told us. hoorah!
“our research, which used the minimum leg-muscle mass t-rex required for movement, suggests that while not incredibly fast, this carnivore was certainly capable of running
you mean, something with legs can run? somebody get this guy a nobel! quick! the university of manchester (where the study took place) should be ashamed. perhaps they should start a new study on how incredibly ludicrous and insubstantial the previous study was. that would be a good study, me thinks.
oh, and i now officially hate the word study.
ciao.
robby @ 2:20 pm on 8/22/07