Nick Rant: Movie Talkers
Nothing irritates me more than loud, obnoxious people in movie theaters. There are different varieties, and I will dedicate individual rants to each of you horrible, inconsiderate natives. Today’s culprit, the…
Senile Old Man
Last night I saw Into the Wild at the State Theater in Ann Arbor.
Senile Old Man decided to overly explain parts of the movie to his wife. The following are two examples of actual dialogue.
Chris McCandless (played by the talented Emile Hirsch) is hungry, running out of game to hunt, and eating plant seeds:
Senile Old Man: Why doesn’t he eat fish?
I’m sure the late Mr. McCandless appreciates your advise, from the grave.
Chris McCandless is starving, near death, and acting crazy:
Senile Old Man (loudly): He’s hallucinating because he’s hungry.
His Equally Crazy Wife: What?
Senile Old Man (louder): He’s hallucinating because he’s hungry.
I was convinced old men think they have to explain everything to their stupid wives. Hey pal, women have brains too. Sean Penn isn’t David Lynch; his movies don’t require interpretation. Just shut the fuck up and answer her questions in the car.