Awkward has its place in the office, too
More office shenanigans, submitted by avid reader and our resident Queen of Awkward, Lindsay.I’m relieved to discover my trademark awkwardness is not confined to social settings, the doctor’s office, and/or conversations about money. It now has its place in the workforce! Well, it’s always been there, now I’m just documenting it.
The Long Hallway Walk
Cast: You, Your Coworker, and a Long Hallway. Scene: You’re walking toward each other, down a very long hallway. Initially, you can only make out who it is. They’re but an inch on the horizon. But when you’re both about halfway to your destination, you can make eye contact. Do you keep eye contact for the rest of your 30-second walk? Stare at the ground rudely? Look at the walls to your right, even thought there’s nothing on them? A window would help, but you’re in an office. Everyone knows there’s no such thing as windows in an office?! What do you do?!
The Chatty Cube Mate
Your cube-neighbor begins chatting intermittently to you. You think the conversation is over, and get up to fax something. About 10 feet away you hear her talking again, thinking you’re still there. What to do, what to do!? Quietly walk back to your desk and resume the casual conversation? Leave her there talking to no one? Why do I even care!? AWKWARD!
The One-Stall Bathroom
So maybe you finally found a good Chinese restaurant and are happy with their selection. Except for… errr… the “leftovers” the next day. If you catch my drift what I’m saying. So, you hunker down in the 1-stall bathroom which happens to be right next to the supply closet. You might be in there for, say, 5 minutes. And, as coincidence has it, your coworker might spend, oh, I don’t know, FIVE MINUTES rifling through the supply closet as well! Should this unfortunate circumstance ever happen to you, dear reader, just remember this one bit of advice: DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT AS YOU LEAVE THE BATHROOM. Acting as though it’s perfectly normal to be in the loo for 5 minutes is a sure-fire way to make your coworker forget that it’s weird to be in there that long. Looking guilty or embarrassed will only confirm suspicions that something was amiss.
Dating a Coworker
WARNING: DO NOT DO IT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. TOO MUCH AWKWARDNESS ENSUES!
you edited! it should be “who was walking down the hall” not “whom…”