Google: One step closer to complete world domination
News broke today about Google’s plans to break into the highly competitive cell phone industry. Google has plans to create the newest operating system for cell phones that may very well trump Windows Mobile OS and even the trendy, pseudo-gay Mac mobile OS.
According to BusinessWeek Online the giant circle jerk that revolves around every move Google makes just got a little messier (paraphrasing). And if they are even a fraction successful with their involvement in the cell phone industry as they were at ass-raping the free online video market then Google is one very large step closer to controlling EVERYTHING. But is this a bad thing? Maybe we need a little more control of our everyday lives by giant global information corporations like Google. And once they control information, then the next step is to branch out into everything else we do on a daily basis. I have a few ideas for you Google, so listen up:
First, How about controlling the soft-drink market. You can put some Soma (see Brave New World) in it and promote your product while you simultaneously drug and hydrate the masses into thinking how you shit golden eggs:
Next, I think you should try your hand and re-charting the face of the world….oh, shit, I guess they already did that….
Lastly, how about creating a race of super Google-humans that are superior to regular humans. These Google humans can be connected to Google 24-7 and then you can make the Google humans into your own personal army bent on destruction of the inferior regular people…
So Google, please please please control everything. If we keep all of this freedom in our own hands we will just destroy ourselves anyways (see Shay’s Rebellion).
Google’s entrance into software for mobile devices is amazing.
There are plenty of competitors for Google to fight with; including Verizon, Apple, AT&T, Microsoft, etc. Personally, I would rather have Sanjeep design products to control my life than having to do it myself.
In addition, Google’s entrance into the mobile device market would lower the costs of the devices themselves. Google, if you look closely, will not charge phone manufactures for their operating system, and thus the savings gets passed on (I Hope).
My life without google would be close to nothing. I wouldn’t be able to look up the Greek Myth character Priapus (whose name is used to describe prolonged erections suffered from ED pills; Priapism), or determine where I can get some food poisoning from my local Chinese restaurant, etc. Google/YouTube has provided an alternate source for entertainment and information. I love out-sourcing my brain. I can’t wait for Google Earth to enter my hybrid station-wagon.
In conclusion: I have decided that for Halloween 2008 I will be GOOGLE.
GOOGLE -> we own everything, so you don’t have to.