Earlier this week, General Motors announced a company-record net loss of $38.7 billion for 2007. In an attempt to dissuade any further financial downturns, the unstable automotive giant subsequently announced a new round of “lucrative” buyouts to 74,000 employees - or its entire U.S. hourly workforce - with the hopes of replacing these men and women with a younger generation who would work for at least half of the current hourly wage.
With its propensity to be stuck in the past and its inability to get fully onboard with new automotive trends like alternative-resource vehicles, and with the rise of foreign and idealistic conglomerates like Nissan, our panelists weigh in on whether this will even make a difference for the once-great American automobile empire GM, or if this is just the beginning of the end.
Rob: Wow, this just came out of left field, didn’t it? I mean, Jesus. We most definitely did not see this coming, did we?
Matt: Of course we didn’t see this coming. Er, wait. You were being sarcastic weren’t you? Well, in that case, yes, we definitely saw this coming. I’m sorry, but what do you expect when your average hourly employee costs you $78/hour including benefits? When a pool of applicants exists that is willing to work for less than this, why would you not seek out a way of replacing your workforce? It only makes good business sense. Out with the old, in with the new. This restructuring is the only thing that can save GM. Ford is also offering buyouts to its entire U.S. hourly force. Yes, sir, things are changing.
Rob: It’s like what Henry Ford said when he first invented the car: “A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have.”
Oh, wait, that was Gerald Ford. But I think it’s applicable here as well. And, to further my argument, I have no idea whatsoever why we’ve adhered to such archaic methods in the automobile industry. I have a copy of TIME magazine from the 50s hanging on my bedroom wall that ran a story claiming that by 1990 we’d all have flying cars. Where the hell are the flying cars, Matt!
Matt: You want to know where the flying cars are? They’re in your head! You’ve been completely brainwashed by the words of TIME magazine. Don’t you know how powerful they are? That magazine, alone, is responsible for the delays in the personal computer and the Internet. If it wasn’t for TIME magazine, bloggers in 1929 would have completely forestalled the stock market crash that eventually led to the Great Depression. You put your faith in false gods, my friend.
Rob: Look, let’s just get back to the point. Not all of us were as lucky as your Uncle Bill.
(Note: Matt’s Uncle Bill escaped the United States on a hot air balloon during the Jimmy Carter administration.)
Anyway, the point is this: I don’t feel bad for automobile industry workers. And quite frankly, I think Unions can go to hell. We all know they don’t do crap, they get overpaid to possibly weld a door to a frame, but probably just to push a button and talk like idiots with their friends. It’s a joke. There’s a reason US productivity (in all walks of life) is ranked among the lowest in the world - we’re lazy as hell!
Matt: I’ll address your points separately. First, on US productivity. If Americans are so lazy, then why, whenever I walk past Gold’s Gym, are all the treadmills and stairsteppers full of people looking out the window at passersby? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm.
And second, if you ever talk about my Uncle Bill again, there will be hell to pay. Yes, my friend, hell!
Rob: I am willing to bet that the “people” on the treads at Gold’s are the same idiots who then go home to eat four burritos alone. Then they “off put” those calories by going bi-weekly to the gym.
We don’t live in a “European clime” and it’s easier, in America (and often times more necessary), to drive somewhere. This is what makes us the world’s leading manufacturer of automobiles.
It just stinks that we can dig ourselves into such a deep and narrow pit here. Perhaps it’s naive of me, but I’d like to believe that when “they” first started using oil as the sole means of fuel for vehicles, that they were intelligent enough to know there wasn’t a limitless supply of black gold. Chances are, though, they just sloughed this whole issue off for future generations to deal with (read: us).
Matt: Listen, my friend, you’re doing nothing but talking yourself into a corner. So-called “forecasters” have been predicting the drying of oil wells for decades. But that’s all besides the point. I, for one, am glad to see auto companies taking the initiative to reduce their costs. Lower costs for them mean lower prices for us. As my Uncle Bill was fond of saying, “Why pay twice as much for a cow with four legs, when a cow with two legs is just as good? The milk tastes the same and you’ll always know where to find it.”
Rob: Well, your uncle is an idiot and you’re missing the point. I think, from now on, GM (and potentially Ford et al) will be struggling to breathe. In fact, they may never rebound from the egregious mistakes of their predecessors. And maybe, it’s a good thing. With these industry titans gone, we can make room for smaller, more efficient car companies devoted to exploring alternate fuel sources.
It’s like, everyone feels really weird when your weird cousin or senile grandparent is in the room during a holiday, making off-color remarks and babbling incoherently. Everyone just kind of nods and feels super awkward until they’re gone. Then the party really starts.
Matt: Well, I guess we’ll just have to agree to agree. Who knows what the future holds for American car companies, but we both see this as a step in the right direction. When it comes to family, however, this discussion is not over. My uncle an idiot? How dare you, sir!
But that will have to wait for another day.