Midwestern Gothic

Dear Comcast,

You suck. I have no idea how you stay in business.

In the time I’ve procured internet service from you, three months by my reckoning, you have disappointed and showed incredible ineptitude at every point of contact.

The Price Comparison

Like any good consumer, I compare prices when I shop. Little did I know that I’d be comparing no less than 5 different and distinct prices from Comcast on the internet, over the phone and through another company’s promotional offer. Also, good job mislabeling your “Internet Only” package online. I guess I should know “Internet Only” actually means “Internet and Phone”, I’ll do my homework next time.

The Installation

Thanks for completely blowing off the appointment to install my internet and making me waste a day off work because you can’t seem to schedule anything without a four-hour swag. Also, thanks for informing me when I called you to complain that you actually rescheduled the installation, and updated my account on your website to inform me of that fact. I’ll hop on the magic internet connection you haven’t installed yet and make sure I get the date right next time.

The Second Installation

Thanks for showing up an hour late and staying until 7. Another thank you is in order for making sure to tell me I needed the condo association’s permission to subscribe to your services. I really enjoyed scrambling around with a hungry, cranky toddler and a spastic dog.

The Move (Setup)

Moving time! I should just be able to call and things should go smooth, right? Sounds like it, except my internet stopped working the day after I called to transfer. I’m wise to your ways now, Comcast. I knew you had just stopped my current connection prematurely.

Sure enough, I called and you told me I can’t have two addresses on the same account. I called back a week later, and the rep I talked to seemed to have no trouble keeping my current connection running for the five days before the installation at the new home would occur. I appreciate the unnecessary run-around.

The Second Installation

Thanks for sending a cracker-jack tech guy to install my internet. He was at my house for maybe two hours before he said, “Hey man, I can’t get this to work. I keep getting an error message.”

Sometimes the easiest answer is the most obvious one, Comcast. It took me 5 minutes to figure out that your tech guy was using a bad cable modem. I told him to try a new one. With my help, everything got set up in a snap. I’ll be expecting my paycheck for successfully completing an installation on Monday between the hours of noon and five.

Sincerely,

Jef

Update! Co-worker Jenny told me about how the Comcast installation guy actually fell asleep in her living room floor while waiting for a pingback from the system. Nice!