Play airport security at home!
Now you can bring the joy of the airport home forever! From the people who brought you…nothing ever before, comes Scan It, the airport security simulator. With this so-called “toy,” your kids (or you if you’re really feeling up for it) can send things through a mini-metal detector on a mini-conveyor belt. Hours of fun!
I mean what could be more fun than sending items through this “toy” to (a) mimic the fascinating work of a TSA employee, (b) determine if something is made of or contains metal (oh my!), and (c) experience the airport in any place that isn’t an airport?
Actually, if you or any of your kids find this to be fun for any hour (singular), then please do the rest of us a really big favor and just get out of the way. Seriously, just stay in your homes and leave the world for the rest of us to enjoy. If you find any enjoyment in this item whatsoever, you should probably be avoided at all times. And if you buy this for your kids, that sends a clear message that you don’t really like them and you just want them to be preoccupied so they don’t bother you. I’m sorry you didn’t use birth control.